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FOR FUN - I received these from a member
this winter. - Think about them
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw
it.
Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in
your mind during your swing.
When your shot has to carry over a water
hazard, you
can either hit one more club or two more balls.
If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while
the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can
immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a
ball halfway there..
The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to
share his ideas about the golf swing.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible
to play worse.
The inevitable result of any golf lesson is
the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you
to compensate for all of your many other errors
Only replace a divot after a
perfect approach shot.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponents' luck.
It is surprisingly easy to
hole a fifty foot putt ... For a 10 on that hole.
Counting on your opponent to
inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own
haircut.
Nonchalant
putts count the same as chalant putts
It's not a gimme if you're still
away.
The shortest distance between any
two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large
tree.
You can hit a two acre
fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the
time.
If you really want to get
better at golf, go back and take it up at 20, a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad
shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always
look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball
if you ever want to see it again.
Every time a golfer
makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the
fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply
the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap
15, downswing = 300 mph.
There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands
you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
Hazards attract; fairways repel.
A ball you can see in
the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the
bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in
the footprint
It's easier to get up
at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard
A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer
from giving up the game.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you
always end up having to pray a lot.
A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse
than you are....that's why I get so many calls to play with
friends.
If there's a storm rolling
in, you'll be having the game of your life.
Golf
balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you
need to buy fresh ones each week.
It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the
house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
If your opponent has
trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight
(or worse).